Broken Light: A Photography Collective

We are photographers living with or affected by mental illness; supporting each other one photograph at a time. Join our community, submit today!

Basket Case

Photo taken by contributor Morgan, a 21-year-old woman living in California. Morgan has suffered from bipolar depression and anxiety for many years. She experienced her first anxiety attack at the age of 10, and it has been a battle ever since. Her mental health improved greatly after the birth of her daughter, when she felt true unconditional love and acceptance from someone. Morgan thinks very passionately about photography. It’s so much more than just taking pictures to her, it’s a coping mechanism.

About this photo: I wrote this to shed light onto how it feels to be a very apologetic person with a mental illness…

To whom it may concern,
I’m sorry for having an anxiety attack during your time of fun. Crowded places just aren’t my thing.
I’m sorry for scaring you close to death during one of my episodes. I just couldn’t see. It felt like I had a plastic bag wrapped around my head.
I’m sorry for cutting my stomach open and letting my guts pour out to you through text messages at midnight. It gets messy, I know. But I promise I’ll clean it up. It’s just, sometimes I forget about the time change.
I’m sorry for not answering you all the time. I know, you’re always there for me….I know. I should return the favor. But sometimes I’d rather shut the world out.
No, It’s not that I think my problems are above yours. You should know by now that I in fact, think quite the opposite. My problems are nothing.
I’m sorry for rearranging the whole living room while you were gone. I just needed the change of scenery.
I’m sorry that I yelled at you for not understanding that anxiety and just being nervous aren’t the same thing. It’s just that everyone gets nervous, that’s normal. It’s when the extreme nervousness comes for no reason and collides into you like a freight train. And you just try to mentally grasp onto something, anything that’ll get you through it. That isn’t “normal”.
I’m sorry for wanting you but not wanting you at the same time. I’m also sorry for that not making any sense to you.
I’m sorry that living with me is the equivalent as riding a roller coaster. Sure, it’s fun… but it’s also kind of scary.
But now, I don’t want to say “sorry” anymore so,
Thank you for planning a less-crowded area for us to hang out at.
Thank you for guiding me through my episodes.
Thank you for texting me back when you wake up and giving me the best advice I could ask for.
Thank you for understanding that I like my alone time.
Thank you for coming home and saying the new arrangement looks really good.
Thank you for trying to understand what it’s like.
Thank you for giving me space.
Thank you for enjoying roller coasters.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
.
With Love,
Your Basket Case.”

Find more from Morgan at her blog.

_____

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8 comments on “Basket Case

  1. Mish
    June 8, 2016

    A beautiful shot.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. frankaz2000
    June 8, 2016

    Morgan great B/W!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. SwittersB
    June 9, 2016

    Thank you for sharing Morgan’s work.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. mrmikewacht
    June 10, 2016

    Amazing writing … and great photo. Thanks for posting.

    Liked by 1 person

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