Photo taken by contributor Craig A. Miller, a 37-year-old author, speaker, photographer, and suicide attempt survivor from Boston. For many years he struggled with OCD, extreme anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. After a suicide attempt nearly ended his life at age 20, he became dedicated to understanding what led him to such a decision, and more importantly how he could gain control of himself and his life to ensure it would never happen again. He published a book in 2012 titled, This is How it Feels: a memoir of attempting suicide and finding life. He is a member of The Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention and regularly speaks everywhere from libraries to state conferences sharing his story and the steps he took to move forward.

About this photo: “I never took any of my photos with the intention of doing anything with them. I usually just post them on my personal Facebook page and use them for my desktop backgrounds. I have so many that I’ve never even shown anyone.  I just do it for the creativity and the release of it all. Such an amazing feeling! It was Broken Light Collective that made me comfortable with putting them out there, and I’ve since gotten some amazing and encouraging feedback. Thank you. 

Attached is a photo of a door to use and the poem that goes with it. I have an entire chapter in my book that gives the full story behind this photo but this poem sums it up quite nicely…

You closed the door behind 
To shut out the light 
But you didn’t know 
You were shutting off my life 
I could have run away 
But that was my mistake 
I guess it’s not that bad 
If you say it’s okay 

So now I’ll make up all your lies 
And put on your disguise 
It’s ugly but the only way to hide 
I’ll bite down my teeth
pretend I’m in a dream 
And claw my eyes out 
So I cannot see what’s been done to me 

I prayed for God to help me
but he just couldn’t hear me 
It was everything you’re too afraid to fear 
The body and the mind 
They broke when they combined 
And there I lay in my own pleading tears” 

Find more from Craig at his website or twitter.

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