Belly Kisses

Photo taken by a woman with severe clinical depression. She has a long history of depression, but it became much worse after the birth of her daughter several years ago, and has continued to varying degrees (bad to worse to worst and back) to this day.

About this photo: “I loved being pregnant – not the nausea, fatigue and pain – but feeling my baby grow inside me, her hiccups, her wiggles, her every move, and imagining our future together. I never imagined that things would be as hard as they have been due to my mental health issues. I really thought things would change. That I would instantly feel like an energizer mom who could run around to playdates, classes, and activities. I never thought it would be hard to even get off the couch to play tag between the living room and kitchen. 

This photograph is of my neighbor, her son, and her soon-to-be-born son. I always imagined that I would have a moment like this, when my daughter would become a big sister, but now it is doubtful. It’s hard to imagine bringing another child into this world when I feel like I don’t even want to be here myself much of the time. I really wanted two children, but I also wanted a unicorn when I was younger. Some things are just not meant to be. At least in the meantime, I can enjoy photographing other people’s joy, and hope that someday I will find my own.”

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