About this photo: I don’t have fully-formed separate personalities, but like the two birch trees in this dark picture, I slip in and out of focus, in and out of the light, the dark. My Others are so much like my main host personality that it’s possible to hide. I see it in some of my clients, this blurry double.
My bad days are sloppy and confusing and sometimes terrifying in their shadowy shapes. My good days are filled with creativity and joy as I jump in and out of focus and light.
The bad days. I wish I could describe the terror of feeling stuck in a blur. Time travel. Knowing but not knowing. Static on TV. I did this but maybe I didn’t. I don’t remember writing this. Why am I in this room? A vacation that never goes home. A reflection in water – wavy, slivery.
Undiagnosed adults are experts at disguising this disorder, and some of us don’t even know how talented we are at pretending. Pretending that we are one tree, not two.
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