Entering the Asylum

Photos taken by Dee, who suffers from clinical depression, anxiety/panic attacks, bipolar II, and a host of other diagnoses and issues.

About these photos: I took the first two on my way in to the psychiatric hospital last week, and the third now that I’ve begun to settle. I have been admitted because nothing seems to dull the pain and make me a fully functional human being/wife/mother. I have begun a round of ECT in the hopes of coming back to life. ECT is scary, even though it is lightyears from Cuckoo’s Nest. I go under anesthesia and awaken feeling in a nightmare, sometimes feeling unable to breathe or confused and crying profusely, but I must find a way keep faith, at least for the other people in my life. It could work, as quickly as next week, so I must hold onto that hope and let the negative and harmful thoughts dissipate.

16 thoughts on “Entering the Asylum

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  1. How brave of you to admit you need the help and accept it, particularly as you are a wife and mother. Well done for recognising that we cannot be all things to all people when we are ill, and putting you first.
    If it helps, I will be keeping the faith with you, and you will be back to life before you know.
    Good luck to you.

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  2. What a brave and moving post, I hope you can find some of the relief you are looking for. I don’t know if you are familiar with Byron Katie, the author, but her book saved my life. I used to suffer from debilitating anxiety and panic attacks and my counselor suggested we use her method to combat them. I told my counselor I didn’t want to use any medication and become a zombie, so he was excited to exclusively use her method.

    Well, it has now been almost 2 years since my last panic attack and my entire perspective on life has changed. Her method is described in her book “Loving What Is.” My entire family has read the book and we have all learned how to deal with and conquer our anxiety disorders! Even for people who don’t suffer from anxiety, it’s proven to be beneficial in just every day trials and relationships. I’m telling you, it is life changing.

    Anyway, just wanted to spread the word about Byron Katie and her method. Look her up, you may be interested in what she has to offer! Her writing is what inspired me to create a blog in the first place.

    I wish you the best of luck in your journey to recovery, however you may find it.

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  3. ECT is much safer now and I hope it helps you. Please keep your faith. I am glad you get access to the outside world.

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  4. Dee, I wish you a speedy recovery and will pray for you. Your husband and children are truly blessed to have you. Thank you for sharing this very personal story. We’re pulling for you!

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  5. Thank you for letting your truth be known. We are many who are with you, standing beside and behind you, loving you near and far.

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