Ghostly Child

Photo taken by a mom who has been in a bad depression since before her child was born, almost two years ago.

About this photo: Some days are better than others, but I never feel like a good mom. If I get energy it usually only lasts for about 10 seconds, not even one lap of “get you” around the dining room, or I get too much energy and I get a little wild, which is probably fun for her but not so healthy, especially if I stay up all night. The other times I am completely zoned out; usually the latter. I never feel totally comfortable caring for her on my own, or that I am able to be the mom that she deserves. It’s definitely not how I pictured motherhood to be. Thankfully I have had a supportive family and doctors. I just wish I could get better faster, or that I could somehow slow down her development so she could wait for me. I feel like I’m missing it all in a big blur.