Broken Light: A Photography Collective

We are photographers living with or affected by mental illness; supporting each other one photograph at a time. Join our community, submit today!

Just As I Am

Photo taken by contributor Jim, a man from Texas who has struggled with depression for much of his life.

About this photo: “Ah yes, some days just don’t go quite like you planned. One day you’re running free in the jungle, and then you feel a little stick and you wake up behind bars, with dry hay to eat instead of the fresh garden in which you ran free.

I just got released from the hold of a hospital bed. It felt like just another of my familiar panic attacks, but my BP went up to 247/143 with a pulse rate of 133. I took my regular meds, but just could not get it down, and the need to breathe was getting harder and harder. So, we called 911 and it was off to the hospital. A bunch of nice people (the EMTs and hospital nurses were just incredible), but I would have much rather met them all someplace for a beer.

The cardiologist was firmly convinced I had experienced a heart attack and must have some blockage in my heart. So, pokes, prods, needles, ekgs, cardiograms of several types and the worst a chemical stress test. So strange to be injected with a drug and see and feel your heart race to 150 beats per minute in less than 60 seconds. Kind of felt like a panic attack.

And in the end, after all the tests, it was what I originally thought, a panic attack.

I wonder if the gorilla has figured out his dilemma?

I’m living life free, as it should be, just as I am.

Find more from Jim at his blog.

_____

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3 comments on “Just As I Am

  1. karen
    February 26, 2016

    So here’s a story. A man once had panic attacks, but eventually, with much struggle, stopped having them. Years later, he ended up in a hospital, pain in his chest, and his doctor comes in to explain that he had had a heart attack. The man says, “Thanks God! I thought the panic attacks had come back!”
    So glad you didn’t have a heart attack, but panic attacks are pretty awful too. Best wishes for freedom and thanks for this evocative photo.

    Liked by 1 person

    • James Work Photography
      February 27, 2016

      Ms K….got to love that story, but you shouldn’t make a guy laugh so hard in the morning…..en theos….jasL

      Like

  2. Atomic
    February 27, 2016

    Nice picture!

    Like

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