Photo taken by contributor Cheerios, a man who has been diagnosed with Bipolar I, Bipolar II with psychotic features, and Paranoid Schizophrenia. His first acute episode occurred five years ago at the age of 41. He has always loved photography.
About this photo: “I took this picture several years back, it signifies to me how depression hits.
I am busy living and working and then I feel the ground start to shake and rattle, in the distance I hear the loud horn screaming, “It’s about to hit!” as my body anticipates the impact of a three mile coal train loaded with depression.
I stand up on the tracks waving and screaming, “Not now, I am busy, I do not want anyone to see me this way!” Despite my best efforts to stop it, it keeps coming. My body starts to imagine the weight of the train. Knowing how the impact feels, I find a private place, a rest room, a room with a closed door or I curl up on the bed. It hits and splatters my emotions only leaving a pool of depressing tar behind, a tar so deep, so sad I put my head in my hands and wonder how it happened? I try to rationalize it, “It’s because I am mentally ill?”, “It’s because I am being punished for something?” or “It’s because of…?” I start to sink deeper into the tar, I feel it between my thoughts.
I know it will pass, but it never passes soon enough.”