Broken Light: A Photography Collective

We are photographers living with or affected by mental illness; supporting each other one photograph at a time. Join our community, submit today!

I’m In Here, A Prisoner Of My History

Photo taken by contributor Carrie Hilgert, a photographer and portrait artist in her thirties from Northeast Kansas. After venturing into digital photography, she became interested in documenting her life with self portraits. This became particularly helpful when her life started to fall apart due to depression. All her other creative outlets left her, but she could always process her very dark feelings with self portraits. While she is doing much better now, she maintains compassion for those going through these hard things and hopes that her photography can give an honest insight into something that makes most people feel very isolated and alone.

About this photo: “This is from a series on fear and uncertainty. Fear seems to be a recurring theme in my life, no matter how hard I fight it. Fear of abandonment, of not being noticed, of my mental illness consuming me, of what people will think if they see the real me, of losing my creativity and worst, of getting to the end of my life without having let all of the wonderful things inside me come out. This image is about the battle against fear. I think most of us recognize that internal war with something. Whether it’s fear or not, no matter how long you’ve been fighting it, there are times when the battle is fierce and for me, it’s usually when I am trying to grow. The ego doesn’t like change.

Find more from Carrie at her blog or flickr.


**Visit Broken Light’s main gallery here. Currently accepting submissions.

*Facebook & Twitter @BrokenLighCo & @DanielleHark. Follow for e-mail notifications.

12 comments on “I’m In Here, A Prisoner Of My History

  1. Tip
    October 12, 2014

    Hi Carrie, I know those fears and I know that battle. You captured it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. toemailer
    October 12, 2014

    We would love to post that at toemail if you do not mind?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. dodgysurfer
    October 13, 2014

    Very powerful words too.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. imaginarytree
    October 13, 2014

    I recognize your internal war. I have experienced it. An amazing photograph.
    Thank you for sharing your photograph and your thoughts.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. lotofphotography
    October 13, 2014

    Great image

    Liked by 2 people

  6. karifrances
    October 14, 2014

    Haunting photograph. Amazing. Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. rachmathias
    October 14, 2014

    Perfect Carries!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. spencersamalvin
    October 15, 2014

    Thank you, Carrie- I can identify with your struggle indeed- and interesting picture! . .

    Liked by 1 person

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