Broken Light: A Photography Collective

We are photographers living with or affected by mental illness; supporting each other one photograph at a time. Join our community, submit today!

Behind This Door

Photo taken by contributor Lori Goodwin who has fought a lifelong battle with severe anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD. She has had many people in her family also struggle with mental health issues, including a mother with depression; father with anxiety, depression, and OCD; and an uncle with schizophrenia. Three of Lori’s four children also suffer differing combinations of anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, and/or chronic insomnia. Lori is a long-time single mother who’s had very little in the way of resources except courage and resilience. She feels like a sensitive soul trying to find a place in what feels like a loud, angry, cruel world.

About this photo: “There’s a whole lot of tragedy crammed behind that door, and it’s going to be dirty and ugly inside. I know opening it is going to hurt, and it’s going to be scary. But I’m carefully, oh so carefully, going to open that door and take out one thing at a time. I’ll handle each piece gently, carefully airing it out. Then I’ll either re-fold it neatly and put it back, or I’ll throw it away, depending on what best serves my needs. I expect I’ll find a lot of deep, dark holes with nothing in them, since entire chunks of my childhood are blank. But that’s OK. I’ll gently rinse them with my tears and fill them with love for myself. I’ll grieve for that terrified little girl, and all that she might have become. And then I’m going to celebrate. I’m going to celebrate the incredible woman I’ve become—both in spite of and because of the chaos, neglect, and abuse.

Find more from Lori at her blog.


**Visit Broken Light’s main gallery here. Currently accepting submissions.

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12 comments on “Behind This Door

  1. avixenatgloaming
    July 2, 2014

    That is a wonderful picture! The composition and colors and I love it. =)


  2. Michele
    July 2, 2014

    Your photograph is beautiful. Not only is it visually pleasing, it is a beautiful representation of your struggles and your courage to overcome them. Thank you for sharing your story. You have put into words what I have felt for so long and did it so eloquently.


    • Lori Goodwin
      July 2, 2014

      Thank you. I’m so glad it spoke to you. Courage to you, too!


  3. Zara
    July 2, 2014

    I absolutely adore this!…something about doors….reminds me of a spiritual journey:)


    • Lori Goodwin
      July 2, 2014

      Thank you! Doors are pretty awesome, aren’t they?!


      • Zara
        July 3, 2014



  4. Craig A. Miller
    July 2, 2014

    I absolutely love this. I wish you all the strength and courage you need to deal with what’s inside.


  5. Lori Goodwin
    July 2, 2014

    Thank you so much for your kindness — it’s deeply appreciated.


  6. I love this picture.


  7. mundoinesperado
    July 4, 2014

    I love it!


  8. idoartkarenrobinson
    July 6, 2014

    An interesting photo, the colours are unusual, makes you want to open the door…Karen


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