Watching Over Us

Photo taken by contributor  Tiger Lillies, a woman in her forties from Ontario who suffers from deep depression, psychosis, and agoraphobia, possibly bipolar disorder, all while raising her two young grandchildren, four and six years old. Thankfully she has a supportive partner Rick who helps make daily life with children possible. Her grandchildren, as well as her recent love of photography, have become her saviours and kept her from succumbing to the negative temptations that regularly haunt her. She has tried to commit suicide several times in the past, but thankfully is still with us. Her hopes are to get past her illness, as well as glaucoma, and become a professional photographer.

About this photo: “If there was a picture beside the meaning of “basket case”, you would see a picture of me. Two days before moving and I found out that someone had stolen all of my cheques from my mail box.  I had absolutely no money! No money to give to the new land lord, or food for the babies.  I was beyond down in the dumps. Hysterics could be close to how I was feeling. What was I to do? My body and mind began to shut down. There was no thought process. I had to fight the urge to take all my pills and force myself to stay awake. I knew there was no reason to do myself in. I had no control over this action from someone else, but I was quickly getting to that very dark place. I began to panic! One more hour and the babies would be home from school. They can’t see me in this state of mind. I fought like never before to put on a brave face.  A big smile when they came walking in the door. Inside, I wanted to die. My pills just a hand reach away, but I fought it!  Rick stayed with me that night, out of fear I imagine.

The next morning I woke with a fighting spirit! How dare someone do this to us! I spoke to everyone that needed to be contacted (including the police). I was so embarrassed when it came time to talk with the new land lord, but he seemed to be okay and understood. That in it’s self was a huge relief. While driving back home Rick took me on a tour. He had brought my camera with us, without my knowing. So very thankful he did. What a special treat it was to come across these pretty darlings. I knew at this moment that the Lord was still watching over us. He was going to make everything okay again. The cheques have not been returned to the government nor have they been cashed, but that is all behind us now. The Lord has blessed us with a new beginning, in a lovely home, a wonderful land lord and all that we need.”

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