Broken Light: A Photography Collective

We are photographers living with or affected by mental illness; supporting each other one photograph at a time. Join our community, submit today!

Duality

Photo taken by contributor Carrie Hilgert, a 36-year-old photographer and self-portrait artist from Northeast Kansas. After venturing into digital photography, she became interested in documenting her life with self portraits. This became particularly helpful when her life started to fall apart due to depression. All her other creative outlets left her, but she could always process her very dark feelings with self portraits. While she is doing much better now, she maintains compassion for those going through these hard things and hopes that her photography can give an honest insight into something that makes most people feel very isolated and alone.

About this photo: “I wonder why it took me so dang long to accept my own duality. I tell people as a joke, that I am a contradiction to myself. But there have been some really rough times because of that extreme nature. I spent a lot of years trying desperately to be a more consistent person in all my habits and neurosis…

Do the laundry on a schedule, not just whenever you feel like it. Make a meal plan and stick with it. There shall be no free spirited cooking in this house. You’re social online all the time, why can’t you make more dates with your friends? You suck. If you’re such a quiet person, why do you sometimes talk your husband’s ear off? You want to be this unique person, but you still care what some people think about you? And so on. None of these are a huge deal. But I think introspective people do tend to over analyze themselves to death. And you know? Life is just too short for that. I get to a point where I just get fed up; angry at the way I’ve talked to myself. Livid with the things I’ve expected from myself.

There has to be a balance inside. An acceptance and harmony with all these different little parts of ourselves. We’ve all grown up with baggage of some sort. At the end of my life, I don’t want to look back and ponder all the mental energy and time I wasted trying to be someone I’m not.

It’s not about all our selves being at constant war with each other. It’s about being ok that we have different selves to begin with” 

____________________________________________________________

**Visit Broken Light’s main gallery here. Currently accepting submissions.

*Like us on Facebook & Twitter. Follow below for e-mail notifications.

11 comments on “Duality

  1. albegee
    February 28, 2013

    very awesome!

    Like

  2. sonofmountmalang
    February 28, 2013

    Wohhh! Cool!

    Like

  3. Lady Deidre
    February 28, 2013

    Great photo! And I don’t like thinking back either — one of my favorite scriptures is Philippians 3:13, 14 — words to live by.
    God Bless you!

    Like

  4. bipolaronfire
    February 28, 2013

    You are just so amazing. Your photos are magical.

    Like

  5. Rob Allen
    March 1, 2013

    Stunning image

    Like

  6. The Baking Barrister
    March 1, 2013

    gorgeous – so creative – thanks for this portrayal of duality

    Like

  7. SeoulAdventurer
    March 2, 2013

    Reblogged this on SeoulAdventurer and commented:
    This spoke to me – I completely identify with the need to find balance and this author took the words right out of my mouth – her fight to find equilibrium when she is a complete contradiction of herself
    “It’s not about all our selves being at constant war with each other. It’s about being ok that we have different selves to begin with”

    Like

  8. carrieblueberry
    March 3, 2013

    thank you everyone!

    Like

  9. Ippo
    March 3, 2013

    It surely required a generous amount of time to do this right! Great job!!! 🙂

    Like

  10. Jibu Tom Jose
    March 5, 2013

    Awesome… 🙂

    Like

  11. GrowlTigger
    March 9, 2013

    An interesting creative photo and some thoughtful insight into the complexities of self image and balance in life. If we are honest most of us have contradictions between how we want to be and how we are, but obviously some people feel the burden of those contradictions much more than others. At 50, I’m pretty chilled with mine. 🙂

    Like

Please Join the Conversation!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Crisis Helpline

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Badge For Contributors

%d bloggers like this: