Light Is Out There

lightPhoto taken by SPIRAL, a 27-year-old woman from Prague, Czech Republic. She is a psychology student, a wife, a carer and a step-mother of an 8-year old. She also calls herself a trouble maker with a very confused mind, endless feelings of emptiness, as well as intense emotional roller coasters. In 2008 she was diagnosed with a severe Borderline Personality Disorder, which for her includes many sub-diagnoses (depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm, dissociative seizures, depersonalization, derealization and hypomania), that tend to change suddenly and uncontrollably. Since her diagnosis, she has been hospitalized 10 times, mostly against her will. She has been given a full disability pension but 3 months ago she decided it was time to change and she started working half-time, she bought a flat with her husband and is trying to finish her BSc degree. Psychoanalysis, her dear husband, family and friends have helped her mainly through believing in her when she couldn’t. Nevertheless, everyday feels like a life struggle to her. At times she believes she can do this, at others she doubts the reason of her own existence and wishes that the end of the world would come soon so she wouldn’t have to end it herself. But for now, she still has a bit of faith left.

About this photo: “This is a picture of our lights above the dining table. We have just bought a flat, done soooo much work on it and are decorating it. Apart from being happy to be in our own, it makes me feel very anxious about choosing all the things into it and making it perfect (since I feel I am empty on the inside I struggle to decide on anything as I cannot say “yes I want this, because I like it” since I miss the reality of the “I” bit). These lights are what I am most proud of. They look so good but mainly… they remind me that there is light in every darkness. It only needs to be found and switched on.”

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11 thoughts on “Light Is Out There

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  1. Thank you so much for choosing my picture and for such nice comments. It made me smile… Which is a lot to say lately. Thank you. For everything you do. You have actually inspired me to start taking pictures again.

    Like

  2. Wonderful picture, and your story to it. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
    There is a lot of “I” in your picture. Be proud of yourself, and keep saying I, lots of times every day and the feeling will soon come to you.
    Take care!
    Marie

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  3. Your words “…since I feel I am empty on the inside I struggle to decide on anything as I cannot say “yes I want this, because I like it” since I miss the reality of the “I” bit…” mean a lot to me and “I” understand

    Like

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