Photo taken by Tiger Lillies, a 48-year-old woman located in Ontario who suffers from deep depression, psychosis, and agoraphobia, all while raising her 2 young grandchildren, 4 and 6 years old. Thankfully she has a supportive partner Rick who helps make daily life with children possible. Her grandchildren, as well as her recent love of photography, have become her saviours and kept her from succumbing to the negative temptations that regularly haunt her. She has tried to commit suicide several times in the past, but thankfully is still with us. Her hopes are to get past her illness, as well as glaucoma, and become a professional photographer.
About this photo: “I can smell dinner in the oven cooking, the babies are watching t.v. The sun is shining brightly into the living room window. There are so many things to be thankful for, and yet, I can see the darkness surrounding me, as though I’m slowly entering a tunnel. This past weekend I photographed an “Open Door Event”. It’s when different communities open the doors to historical churches and homes. I had no ambition, kept coming up with different reasons to go back home. I had had enough. Told Rick I wanted to go home. We had only been out an hour and I felt as though it had been days. We were heading out of town, when a church called to me. Quickly I asked Rick to pull over. A feeling that I hadn’t felt in years came over me. As I stood at the front doors, it felt as though I was home. The camera clicked the whole time, honestly, I had no idea what I was photographing. The organist played as a women with a beautiful voice sang. There were about 10 of us in the church. The sun sending beams of light through the stained glass. I heard the Minister ask if I like taking pictures. I don’t remember answering him. Not long after (or so I thought) I went back out to the car. Rick told me I had been in there for an hour. The feeling of peace in the church stayed with me, until this afternoon. Darkness is beginning to smother me. I know I have to feed the babies, but wish they were old enough to make a sandwich for themselves. The house is becoming too bright. I just want to close my eyes, and open them hours from now. Oh how I wish the feeling of that little old church filled me again.”