Photo taken by Halfwaybetweenthegutter, 27, living on the coast in the UK. She is very familar with diagoses and the failings of her mental health system. Dignosed with borderline personality disorder, severe anxiety disorder and clinical depression. She spends her time writing and trying to craft a somewhat normal life after years of struggling.
About this photo: So much of my life has been about trying to achieve perfection. Physically, I’ve always loathed myself; years of eating disorders and depression have had an effect on my looks, leaving me with dark circles, bad skin from the medication and not feeling able to wash, premature wrinkles, dark spots from medication and bloodshot eyes from lack of sleep. I do my best to hide these – choosing the most expensive foundations and latest skin-care – and avoid going out in public without make-up. Since the age of twelve, I’ve had a permanent mask, and sometimes I forget what I really look like and who I really am.
Depression is a physical illness too, and it shows in my face. For the first time ever, I’ve allowed a photograph of myself without make-up on, without a good night’s sleep, and without any alterations bar turning the photo greyscale, to be seen in public. It’s a huge step for me. I loathe my face and my flaws, but I need to accept that it’s who I am and I can’t change. I have open pores. I have tired eyes. My skin breaks out. Why? Because I’m human. Nobody’s perfect.