Clovis Waiting For The Master

Photo taken by contributor Jim, a man from Texas who has struggled with depression for much of his life.

About this photo: “This image was made in 2013. So much has changed since that time. Amongst the little things, there were some big ones; we retired, closed our photography business and then in less than a month after that we moved 600 miles across Texas due to the need to be closer to family.

I do not do well with change and I did a lot of what the s*&t were you thinking. I have been in a state of sinking deeper and deeper. Then last month the older of my two dogs, Clovis died. I wish I would have gone with him. I see him everywhere, I still think he is here and then reality sets in and I am without my best bud, my confidant, my friend.

Like a lot of us here we lean very hard on our pets for comfort and support. It is like someone pulled the plug and all life has drained from the tub. I put my cameras away the day Clovis died and try as I might, have not been able to  pick up a camera.

I still have my other dog Grace and she is working hard to fill the hole in my heart, but it’s a large hole and is going to take a lot of shovelfuls to fill it. A load of work for a deaf dog with a bunch of her own issues. She too is working as hard as she can.”

Find more from Jim at his blog.

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18 replies to “Clovis Waiting For The Master”

  1. I am really sorry for your loss. Losing a furry kid is so painful that it took me 10 years to get a new dog. Could you believe that? Take one day at a time. I won’t tell you that it’ll get easier, but rather that somehow you will learn to live with the memories of such an amazing companion and that, like in my case, every time you remember Clovis you’ll either laugh so hard it will hurt or cry just as hard. Take care.

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    1. Marcela>thanx for your kind words.i have met people that on losing a four legged fuzzy friend say they will never get another. They just won’t put themselves through the loss. I used to just not be able to see that side, but I do now. I have my deaf girl Grace who steals another piece of my heart every day.
      I figure if and went it is time for another dog, the dog will appear. Until then, we will stay a one dog home…..en theos….jasL

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      1. That was me. It took me 10 years to get a dog after my mom’s dog passed away. I feel the same way, the right dog will come along. Take care.

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  3. What a wonderful tribute to your dog, Clovis. I’m autistic, so I know how detrimental unwarranted change can be. It literally can make me ill and I need to shut down. I do have a therapist. I find it is important for me to get a neutral perspective. Don’t put your camera away for long. There is a lonely hole that only God can fill. No matter how much people or any living thing loves us, they ultimately fail us as His creation is temporal. Our Lord is alive and eternal. I pray you will find comfort in Him.

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  4. Please pick up that camera and in dedication to Clovis amaze us and yourself with your photos. i agree with Autisticaplanet, the devil may be in the details but comfort, healing and life is in the Lord

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  5. I am really sorry for your loss dear 😔
    Pets become our family, our loved one, and the hole which is present when they are gone is too much handle.
    May you start your photography again and be happy😇

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  6. Beautiful Clovis. I am very sorry for your loss. Often I whisper into my dogs’ ears: “I love you more than life” – and there is something true about that. I fear when they die it will feel like you say: like someone pulled the plug. I don’t really know what to say, as I think the pain stays, but life can still hold possibilities and joy. Grace needs you and Clovis is with you two in spirit, watching how you carry on doing doggy things, like walking, following your noses and cuddling.

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    1. Britta….I like that idea of whispering in my dogs ear. Seems a little strange doing it with Grace as she is 100% deaf. But me and my wife both talk to Grace like she is another human. Go figure…….en theos….jasL

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  7. I can, like so many others, empathise with your loss – and that empty crater waiting to be filled. It never is – entirely, but keep taking, and keeping those pictures. The memories they will evoke are golden moments your heart needs to soothe the pain.

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  9. Before i even read your words, i was moved to tears by the photograph and furthermore, by the story behind it. So many changes, so much loss. And yet, here you are, sharing your story with such honesty and candor. Helping others grieving the loss of their furry angel(s) and reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles. Even through your difficulties and your grief – your passion for photography shines on. Your writing is powerful and poignant. Sending you so much compassion. Thank you for sharing.

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  10. Jaeda….thank you for your blessing of kind words. I still am gathering my strength to pick up my Nikon. I am feeling closer to doing that. Through early morning mindful walks, vision is beginning to see images. Now to make the neext step and carry a camera along…..en theos † jasL

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