The Door Begs to be Opened

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Photo taken by contributor Kyle Anderson, a man from Saskatchewan, Canada. Kyle is a health care professional in his forties who has battled depression and addiction for most of his life. He escapes by letting the camera become his mind’s eye, and hopes that each photo he takes allows others to see the world as he sees it, even for a split second.

About this photo: “’The Door Begs to be Opened but the Light Holds it Shut.’ So I had a panic attack yesterday. It was the first one I’ve had in quite a while. The past few months have been a blur to me. There are so many positive changes happening in my life ( many of which are directly linked to being part of this collective ) that I wonder if I will miss too much if I stop to think. I’m embarking on a new career and life path as community building writer, photographer and advocate for mental health. I’m completely and utterly terrified. Every. Single. Trigger for my anxiety is taking place pretty much all at once, but it’s almost all part of the process of these positive changes! It’s surreal. It’s amazing. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for when I began my journey towards wellness and yet my entire central nervous system is in a constant fight or flight state! As a person with anxiety, success like this scares me. It means I’m different, that I’m special ( yes! Me! I know it’s hard to believe!) when all I want really is just to be like everyone else… at least that’s what my brain wants me to believe because is all warm safe and calm in the doldrums. I truly believe that every one of us is blessed with special gifts to share. Why can’t I believe in mine when everyone else does?”

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3 replies to “The Door Begs to be Opened

  1. I’ve been just so moved by your words Kyle, now I’m writing with tears in my eyes. I’ve just published on my blog my story with depression and anxiety, for my sake and the sake of others who have the same struggle in life, to raise awareness, to fight the stigma, so the ones who call themselves “normal” can understand …

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  2. Hi Kyle,
    I’m an artist also and your words about your fears, & being scared including the panic attacks which I can relate to. Trust me your not alone and what works for 1 person doesn’t work for another. Dr Weil has some breathing music on CD’s with lovely music that I enjoy listening to. I’m still working on this myself and you articulated it beautifully just like I have tried to explain to others who didn’t get it. I bet your extremely sensitive I am and there’s nothing wrong with that either. I admire you for your courageous, bravery as you work to overcome this. Your are worthy, loved and you will get through it. Everybody handles things differently and there is no right or peculiar way and don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad, or push you to “get over it” by people who don’t get it. Do whatever feels right to you. I found Chakra clearing easier to do than the breathing and I’m trying to learn different techniques. You tube has some great videos Michael Sealey is wonderful, you can find and listen to a multitude of people which I wish I did or knew about sooner. I’m rooting for you and I will be looking at your photos which have wonderful titles.
    Blessings, Lucinda

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