Invisibility Is Painful

Photos taken by contributor Niquita, a teenager from England. She has experienced severe self-esteem and confidence issues since the age of 14, when she became overwhelmed by the pressures of school and social life. She was then diagnosed with Major Depression. Niquita thinks depression is harder to go through than many people think. She has found it hard to talk to others, including her mother, about what she is feeling because she often doesn’t understand it herself. Niquita has recently started to overcome some of her struggles with the help of her supportive boyfriend, along with photography. Taking photos has helped with her feelings of isolation, and she appreciates the freedom it gives her.

About these photos: “Invisibility is painful – and when you go through any type of depression or disorder, it is one of the only things you feel. I used this as inspiration in taking a series of photographs of my friend, Chelsea. I wanted to try and capture the feeling of invisibility in a way that showed both its comforting & haunting sides. As somebody who has spent most of my teenage years constantly battling with the way I am externally viewed, there have been many occasions where I’ve felt alone and disengaged with my friends and family. I have always been extremely conscious of the way I look and it has affected almost every aspect of my life, and anyone who has suffered from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), Major Depression, or any form of Self Esteem issue will understand me when I say that it takes over your life, like you’re drowning. The girl in my photos is representative of somebody who is being helplessly consumed by her surroundings, and this is something that I feel summarises the feeling of Low Self Esteem.” 

Find more from Niquita at her website.

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17 replies to “Invisibility Is Painful”

  7. I can so relate to what you are going through. I felt that I spent my high school years being ‘the invisible girl’. I mentioned this at my 35th class reunion to which I was told – What? Everyone wanted to be YOU! Your long legs, great body and clear skin! But that was not what I saw or felt. I have had BDD since I was in Kindergarten when the first child that saw me told me I was too big and too fat and did not belong in Kindergarten I should go to the first grade. I have suffered with major depression since the onset of puberty so I totally understand and know your pain. I think the only thing that has made a real difference in my life is that today I have a very strong faith and a belief in God that sees me through all of life’s problems. I was sexually abused at a very young age and raped twice in my teens/early twenties so my whole image was totally skewed. I totally understand that drowning feeling…I call it being down the black hole and not being able to climb to the top or even some days seeing any light peeking in from above. When you are having days that you can’t see the good in you rely on the words of others until you can lift yourself out of it. I think I finally accepted myself the way I am when I turned 49 years old. I guess it was my finally coming into my own.

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  12. I can relate to your feelings, I felt very much the same when I was young. But now I am a grandmother and I see my differences as beautiful and perfect. I know it’s difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but know that you are beautiful and there is no one like you…you are here for a reason….my heart and love are with you…blessings…xo

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  13. I can definitely relate to your story. Either it’s like I don’t exist or everyone is looking at me. It’s great that you found your art. Love your photos.

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