The Cracks in My Mind

Please say hello to first-time contributor Lori who has fought a life-long battle with severe anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD. She has had many people in her family also struggle with mental health issues, including a mother with depression; father with anxiety, depression, and OCD; and an uncle with schizophrenia. Three of Lori’s four children also suffer differing combinations of severe anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, and/or chronic insomnia. Lori is a long-time single mother who’s had very little in the way of resources except courage and resilience. She feels like a sensitive soul trying to find a place in what feels like a loud, angry, cruel world.

About this photo: “Deep in the night, sleep plays hide and seek with me, crouching in shadows where I can’t find it. I look everywhere, trying all the places I’ve found it before…. Finally I give up as the thoughts descend like vultures waiting to eat me alive, Diving Pecking Cartwheeling through my mind. My heart is reeling. The vultures are biting tearing ripping as Sanity slips lifelessly away. I’m spinning out of control in a free fall toward the Abyss.“

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28 replies to “The Cracks in My Mind”

  6. Welcome Lori. Beautiful photo. I so understand the depression and anxiety and the difficulties in raising children while you suffer and who suffer their own problems as well. Both of my sons had difficult periods of depression, the eldest is an alcoholic and drug addict (fortunately now recovering 2 years) and my youngest has PTSD and a learning disability. He has a lot of uncontrolled anger issues. I have been a single Mom for the last 10 years. I don’t know how you cope with 4…2 is hard enough.

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  11. Lori, you are rich in talent and gifted with intelligence and wisdom.

    I am continuously impressed by the rich and profound creative talent, photographic, writing, poetic, etc. found on this site and in our community.
    I’m proud to be counted as one among ‘us’

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. Posting to this site is probably one of the wisest moves I’ve made lately – very encouraging and enriching to see all the beautiful work of so many amazing people, and all of whom get what it’s like to live with mental health issues. I especially like your photo and words about haunting the past – very cool!

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    1. Hi Julia – thanks for connecting! I like your blog. I’m creating one at seventhsageart.com if you’d like to take a peek. Emphasis on creating — I’ve only just begun, much work to do yet.

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  14. Hello, Lori. POWERFUL image! God has sustained you through a lot. I find this site a source of support and courage. I hope you do as well.

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    1. Thank you so much. What an amazing story you have — I’m so sorry for your struggles and pain. I can only imagine how hard it is to watch your mom decline. Thank you for writing about it, and I hope you continue to find the strength you need. I’m currently in the process of creating a blog at seventhsageart.com on behalf of a very special daughter. I think you might especially appreciate her creations. I’ve only got two uploaded so far, but more will be coming! It doesn’t look like you’re on Twitter? If you are though, I’d love to connect that way — I’m @LoriBGoodwin. Best wishes!

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  15. I hope my mind cracks would like so dramatic! 8^). There’s a lot to love about this shot, but I think it’s the thin curve of green where the ice and water meet, contrasting with the whites and greys, that really sets it off for me. Thanks for sharing.

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