Bipolar Rubble

Photo taken by Danielle, a woman with bipolar disorder. She was diagnosed as being on the bipolar spectrum within the last few years, but has been suffering from the depression dips and highs of it for many years before that.

About this photo: “I have known something was different about me for as long as I can remember. The first signs of anxiety showed themselves when I was about 10-years-old, when I started biting my nails and tapping my legs. I remember my mother putting her hand on my leg and pushing down, telling me how inappropriate that sort of behavior was. That was when I started trying to hide what I was feeling inside. When I was a teenager, the depression started to rear it’s head, and by college I was diagnosed with full-on clinical depression and put on meds. 

I took this photo outside of my psychiatrist’s office recently. It is not “pretty,” but emotional instability is not pretty. To me, this photo represents the emotional crashes of depression and bipolar disorder, and the mess that can be left behind in the wake. Messes with work. Messes with school. Or like me, messy remnants of relationships with friends and family, ruined.

Even something (or someone) that may appear strong and sturdy as a wall of bricks, can fall to a pile of rubble.” 

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19 replies to “Bipolar Rubble”

  2. Beautiful photo. I interpreted it differently before I read your description. It looks to me like breaking through a barrier and letting in light. I guess people will interpret it based on their states of mind at the time. I’m trying to break out of one of my depressive states right now, hopefully to be successful. Thanks for the photo.

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  3. I am battling depression at the minute and I have to say your picture represents how I feel at the minute.. like someone has took a sledgehammer to the wall i’ve built up over the years but the pieces wont go back together again.

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  4. I always make sure to be sensitive to the possible emotions underlying reactions from people, especially those I don’t know. I’ve known many with depression problems, one of which is in prison because of it. I’m lucky, I can talk myself out of depressive moments, and if I can’t, I have someone who can always help me out of it. I try as hard as I can to be that kind of strength to others, no matter the situation. This picture reminds me of my friend in prison, the last day he was out and did something stupid, breaking through all the shit around him into a seemingly worse place. It really makes you think… Thank you for sharing this piece.

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  6. I can relate. The best way to deal with it is to surround your people who understand you and don’t judge you, see the beauty underneath and speak to it. And that’s why I like this post too. It has that vibe of being a caring friend. 🙂

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  7. Very insightful heartfelt piece, illustrated by a photo that could easily have been ‘created’ exactly for that state of mind. Someone once told me about coming across a brickwall (of an old abandoned house) at a time when this person was feeling like a shattered brickwall… took a metal bar and attacked the wall turning it into exactly a shattered brickwall… and feeling relief beyond imagination!

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