Photo taken by Halfwaybetweenthegutter, 27, living on the coast in the UK. She is very familar with diagoses and the failings of her mental health system. Dignosed with borderline personality disorder, severe anxiety disorder and clinical depression. She spends her time writing and trying to craft a somewhat normal life after years of struggling.
About this photo: So much of my life has been about trying to achieve perfection. Physically, I’ve always loathed myself; years of eating disorders and depression have had an effect on my looks, leaving me with dark circles, bad skin from the medication and not feeling able to wash, premature wrinkles, dark spots from medication and bloodshot eyes from lack of sleep. I do my best to hide these – choosing the most expensive foundations and latest skin-care – and avoid going out in public without make-up. Since the age of twelve, I’ve had a permanent mask, and sometimes I forget what I really look like and who I really am.
Depression is a physical illness too, and it shows in my face. For the first time ever, I’ve allowed a photograph of myself without make-up on, without a good night’s sleep, and without any alterations bar turning the photo greyscale, to be seen in public. It’s a huge step for me. I loathe my face and my flaws, but I need to accept that it’s who I am and I can’t change. I have open pores. I have tired eyes. My skin breaks out. Why? Because I’m human. Nobody’s perfect.
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I so understand, and appreciate your bold honesty. Thank you. (P.S. Your humanness is quite beautiful.)
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Reblogged this on Push Dump Fat Button.
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Pretty eye! hugs.
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By the way, I’m a perfectionist too. It’s killer. I know the feeling. I also hated my body for the “deformities” and all that. But your flaws and your imperfections yearn to be embraced. hugs again.
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You are beautiful!
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Perfection is one of those things that we spend forever on attempting to achieve before we realize that we ourselves are actually perfect regardless of our outwards appearance we are individuals who have our own experiences good and bad to share with the world, that my friend is what perfection is. It’s not about creating what we view to be perfect when what we view can often be a misguided vision of something we are constantly striving for yet will never achieve due to the fact we have already reached perfection.
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Good for you! Very brave! I’m 52 and my skin still breaks out. 🙂
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You’re right. Depression is a physical illness too. Totally.
Well done you for posting a photo of yourself.
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You’re beautiful. In the midst of it. Really.
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I LOVE this photo!
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You are beautiful and your truth shines…. Sending hugs our way.
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