Kaleidoscope

Photo taken by Clare, a woman who has been diagnosed with major depression and bipolar II among other things.

About this photo: It’s hard when you are severely depressed. Basic functioning can become an impossible feat, and you have to rely on others… family, doctors, friends (if you can even maintain such relationships). It’s especially hard when the people in your support network are not on the same page. Everyone thinking and saying something else (diagnoses, meds, hospitals, alternative treatments…) when all you want is to disappear and not have to listen to any of it.

I feel like I am inside a kaleidoscope at these times. Spinning, with things coming in and out of focus, not sure which way is up or what is real and what is an illusion. There are moments of clarity and then it all gets jumbled once again. It’s been over a year and a half this time, and I know it is wrong, but I can’t help but wonder if I will ever get out.

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